Sleep…The Elective Evil

We all know how valuable sleep is right?  Doctors say you have to get a good 8 hours a night.  What, how is that even possible?  We all crave that blissful slumber don’t we?

No, I don’t have a magical answer, point blank there really isn’t one without including medication into a nightly ritual.  For me going to sleep is usually not the issue, for me it is waking up after an hour or two of sleep and thinking I have slept the whole night.

Strike One for me is I am menopausal, every woman who is in this second puberty so to speak , knows this is real.  We are tired, dragging our butts tired, go to bed, only to wake up a few hours later.  I have discovered I have more energy at 3 am than I do by 3 pm.   Our hormones are upside down and all around.

Strike Two for me is I am a widow.  I still grieve and believe I always will.  The memories seem to come back into my head around 1:30-2:00 a.m.  Why?  Why at this time?  Is it because my guard is down?  Does my mind think, for whatever reason I could forget him? By the time I try to reason with myself ( usually I can’t) a few hours have slipped by and it is now approaching my get up time.  Yes, I am a ritualistic type gal.  I currently do not work, but set my alarm every morning for 4:20 am.  I like the morning, it the only “my time” I may get.  But I don’t like it starting at 2:00 a.m.


Strike Three for me is stress.  Why do you have stress people ask, it’s not like you work.  No but that it not the only type of stress.  I stress about not working or about the prospect of looking for work down the road.  What will my body allow me to be able to do.  My hands and my feet have paid the price of my 30 year career of nursing.  I stress about my financial future…don’t we all.  I stress about my daughters and their high risk pregnancies.  I stress about getting small home projects done.  I find myself stressing about my health too.  I ask myself lots of questions, like should I get the carpal tunnel surgery and such.  I bet I can get stressed about my stress .

Try to remove your electronic devices from your room.  I do a certain point but cannot truly take my phone away with daughter number 3  in last few weeks of her pregnancy.  I don’t want to miss that phone call.  But, even when I have tried to remove the devices I found myself listening harder and thus not being able to sleep because I keep thinking I heard my phone.  I try to think relaxing thoughts as I drift off to sleep but I can’t stay asleep.  I have tried several of the “tricks”.  I just know that if I have a few bad nights by the third night or so I can take half of a “Tylenol PM” and it let’s me sleep a good 6 hours.  If I take a whole pill it takes awhile in the morning to shake it off.  I am pretty much a wimp when it comes to medication, it doesn’t take much to do the trick.  What works for one person may not for the next,  we are all individual.

I am not complaining, I know that this is part of the phase of life that I am in.  I thank God each and every day that I can get up and can share another day with the people that I love.  When I fall asleep in my recliner when I am feeding one of my grandchildren ( after they have dozed off), I don’t feel guilty anymore.  I accept that my body and it’s needs are changing too.  So a quick 10 minute catnap is sometimes all that I need to finish the day.   I then start to count how long I will be in this phase of life.  I take a deep breath and charge on through with the day.  Happy thoughts and Sweet Dreams.




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