The Rights of Passage

Do you remember when we were young children and it was such a big deal to get the training wheels off your 2-wheeler.  You were now an official “Big Kid”.  How about when your banana seated sting ray bike evolved into a awesome 10 speed or a mountain bike.  Now the next step was to convince your parents you were responsible enough for a …don’t say it ..a car.  These were all “Rights of Passage” of sorts.  How many passages have we all gone through in life?  From diapers to death there are many, many accomplishments and responsibilities that go with getting older and growing up.  Many lessons to have learned and to continue to learn.

In our twenties we were career driven, finished college, got a good job.  We found our significant other, the one who made us feel complete.  We started to consider raising a family if we had not already started building one.  More “Rights of Passages” conquered and bigger goals planned.  In our twenties we had no fear ( for the most part) the world was our oyster.  We felt unstoppable.

In our thirties we introduced a few more babies into our families.  We proved you could juggle work and parenthood.  We were more career driven trying to get that prized job or higher on the corporate ladder.  We didn’t really worry about or future…yet anyway… we were young, healthy, and active.  We bought our first or second homes.  We became established in our communities.  We helped at our children’s schools and on the soccer fields.  We could do it all.  A few more “Rights of Passage” conquered and life moves on.

In our forties we realized we were in our forties.  It was starting to sink in that we being out done by the twenty somethings.  What happened to us?  Some of us reached our peak  in our careers.  The excitement and challenges were gone.  Now it was just day to day drudgery.  For us women we have found all the weight we so desperately kept losing in our twenties and our thirties .  Hello muffin top.  I could say I’m still trying to lose my baby fat but come on now she’s 14 years old.  Our metabolism slows down to a turtle’s pace.   Let’s face it we generally are not as active as we were in our twenties or thirties.  We may still walk or work out but it isn’t like we used to.  ( I am speaking for myself ).  Forties can also bring some wonderful “Rights of Passages” as having a child get married or having a grandchild.


In our fifties, well let’s just say it’s a whole different ball game.  I move slower.  I think I’m keeping up with my family, but no there is usually one who has to wait for mom to catch up.  The weight still finds me a pound here or there.  If we have not had to come to terms with death before, we sure do in our fifties.  From losing spouses, parents, siblings, co-workers, friends or even a child, we have learned to face grief and all it has to offer head on.  Another “Right of Passage” nobody enjoys.  Also in our fifties we feel our careers are on the down hill slide.  Our mind set is I just have 10-15 more years then I can retire. Some of us thrown into having to make a career change.  We are worn out.  We are grandparents helping with these energetic grandchildren.  We have learned to settle down and understand that more is not always better.  In our fifties our physicians tend to think it’s the magic age to test just about every part of our body.  With this being said today I had my first colonoscopy not really a big deal.  To me it was.  I was petrified to say the least.  I was more scared of being sedated than the procedure.  I am kind of a control freak.  I just don’t like someone having that control.  Anyway, since my husband died of colon cancer it was a big deal for me to do this, not  just for my health but for my children to know I was okay.  I passed with flying colors.  I do believe I shouted “woohoo” a little louder than intended but I was relieved.   Check another “Right of Passage” off my list.

My sixteen year old son is looking for his first job and asking when we can start looking for a car for him.  I sit back and smile as I realize he is only just on the beginning end his voyage through his own “Rights of Passage”.



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